Use your circle to uncover and weed out slimy two-timing snakes

InspectaDate has a myriad of online resources to help you look before you love, but sometimes your friends are the best case crackers.

I went to a speed dating event a few months back. Though none of the men were right for me, there was one who took a strong liking to me. We'll call him Sir Pushy. He was adamant that I should come back to his place and he’d “take me home in the morning.” I could not have been less interested and left as soon as my friends were ready. I made note of his name and did some digging on Facebook along with a quick Google search. In just 15 minutes I had hard proof of just how skeezy he was.

I searched his name through Facebook and found his face in the list of profiles. It wasn't hard, given I was able to reference his alma mater in his "About" section.

Turns out Sir Pushy had recently married a girl he’d been dating for years. The Italy trip he’d been bragging about was actually his honeymoon. I was appalled, but put it from my mind because I did not care to ever see him again.

A few months later, an old friend and I swapped dating war stories, and she told me about a guy she’d met years ago on OKCupid who ghosted after their second date. She was proud to have been with him though, because he had a gorgeous body and was very charming. His body was so gorgeous, in fact, she took a picture of his dating profile picture and showed me. I never thought I’d see Sir Pushy’s face again, let alone on my friend’s phone.

My friend didn’t know his last name, so she never researched him or found out what happened. His phone number wasn’t linked to anything she could find, and his first name is too common to be useful. It turns out Sir Pushy has spent years actively trolling for mistresses. That’s not something you would find through county property records, arrest records, or LinkedIn. Had he hidden his Facebook a little better, we never would’ve known.

We didn’t want to be the ones to ruin a marriage, so my friend and I never told the wife. But we’re sure on the lookout in case his face surfaces again. From one lunch date chatting about old beaus, we were able to sniff out years of bad behavior by the guy.

We’re often blinded by affection and neglect some obvious red flags. Buy dating is a social institution, and word of infidelity or unkindness gets around. You may discover that your date, though squeaky clean online, has a mean streak, or is quick to become jealous. He may have dated a friend in the past who can give you the dirty on what you’re in for. You should always take an ex’s advice with a grain of salt, of course.

But sometimes just a little comparing of notes can be all the snake repellant you need.

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Courtney Furiosi is a 20s-something working professional in the Orlando area who is in the dating game. Reach her at InspectaDateAdvice@gmail.com