The online dating down low from the UK: Men tell all bout their dates from hell

Online dating disasters know no geographical boundaries, as this fun piece illustrates.

No need for concern about criminal convictions, bad debts or other revelations from public records when these cues from men in the United Kingdom will sound the alarms.

Some of the tales told here from guys with dates gone bad include are headlined "Her photo was 25-years old - and she was the size of a shed," '''Move in' she begged - yet we'd never met," "One took a look at me - and waked out," and "I knew someone on the site - she was dead."

The story, carried by the New Zealand Herald in this case, includes plenty of filling in the blanks from guys who are in their 50s and 60s. Some great humor here about serious experiences that likely will resonate with singles on both sides of the pond. John Vayne, a 61, tells about a con artist who used a picture of a little-known actress in an online profile to lure victims. Vayne also issued this translation guide for men who encounter certain buzzwords in online profiles:

• If a woman said she 'enjoys foreign food' it means she goes down the local curry house on a Saturday night ...

• 'Enjoys classical music' means she's seen The Sound Of Music

• 'Animal lover' means you'll know every detail of her Welsh Cob horse or Golden Retriever by the end of the date - whether you want to or not.

• 'Drinks socially' means she's drunk as a skunk most nights.

• 'Sensitive' means she'll be in tears about her ex after a glass of wine.